Monday, 18 November 2013

Big family - good or bad?

Home for holidays. But holidays does started well. There are so many things happened that me headache, even on the first day itself.

The room is in the mess. My sister's books are all over the place. On the tables. chairs, her bed, under her bed, shelf and even on my bed. I can't stand it. I can't stand the mess on my bed. I do not want her to clean up the mess as she is busy with the SPM exam. I spent 5 hours to clean it up. 3 big bags of rubbish are collected. 

But, a messy room is just a small matter. There are bigger problems left behind. Big family problem. 

Sometimes, i really hope I were the same age as them, like my father, uncles or even my grandma. Big family is avoided with problem. But the most important thing is REFLECTION. Everyone of the lack of reflection, they keep blaming each other. Pinpointing each other's problems.  

For my grandma: She had been scolded by my 2nd uncle quite often recently. She is such an stubborn old woman. Whatever my uncle and auntie ask her not to do: she insist of doing it. She went out to pluck my neighbour's mangoes and left the back door open. My uncle said it is too dangerous, as robbers may enter anytime, especially to this kind of old woman at home only. Then, the main door, there are 3 locks for the door. My uncle wanted her to lock all three for security. But she always locks one or two. Then, she ends up getting scolded. 

Honestly, i was quite pity her as she get scolded at this age. But she is too stubborn. She is not willing to accept any advice, not even from my father, other uncles and aunties. She keeps blaming. She said everyone is against her. Everyone is finding opportunity to scold her. 

She really does appreciates what she has. She has so many children. Has a comfortable concrete house to stay in Kuching. Has people give her money every month. Can go out to play cards every evening. Has all her children visit her  every festivals. Please compare yourself with other grandmother. My mother's mom, she still living in kampung, having to take care of my cousins, cook for them, wash clothes for them and etc. At this old age, she has to endure with the same that one of the daughter-in-law ran off with other kampung man. What a shame. But, did she make a big fuzz of of it. She cried and accepted it. She does not make her children to fight and quarrel with each other when problem comes. 

Therefore, I really pity her, but i pay not much respect on what she did. (referring to my first grandma) 

To my uncle: Do you need to be so rude to ah ma? I know she did may things that against you, but, whatever it is, she is your MOTHER. It is rude to shout at her. You yourself have to make reflection. 

The locks on the door are really hard to lock. It is not easy, especially when ah ma eyes is not-so-good to find the holes for the keys. I know, you have been robbed once, but do you need to be scared? 3 locks for a door, lock even when you are at home, set the alarm and everything. This is too much. If you think yr stuffs are too valuable, then keep it somewhere then. In the vault in the bank ka? 


Another problem that border me a lot is the keeping his house. my 2nd uncle will be away for a month to KL. He wanted someone to take care of his house. since he has quarreled with ah ma, ah ma is not staying there anymore. then, people suggest ah ming (my cousin) to stay there, but uncle does not want. He does not thrust him. what-the-hell. It is good enough that ppl willing to take care of your house. Don't demand too much. Like I say, keep the valuable stuffs somewhere else. If not, the alarm is enough. Or else, shorten your KL trip then. your wife can stay longer, you come back la. what a big deal. It is your house. WE ALL HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY TO TAKE CARE OF IT! 

I hope all the problems can solve peacefully between them. REFLECTION AND COMPROMISE is the only solution. No point BLAMING AND QUARREL over it. 

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